prayer of consecration of the holy family (by archbp lori of baltimore)

 

genogram process questions

Re: Genogram Processing Guide Questions

Fr: Mr. Timmy Nivera (2021). Powerpoint slides 03/19/2021 St. Joseph Formation House webinar

 

Genogram = a graphic representation of your family that displays the interaction of generations within a family (analogy: operating system)

NB: “You are what your FAMILY is, plus your LIFE EXPERIENCES and personality (including character strengths).”

 

I. Capacity for INTIMACY: Closeness and Distance

 

1. How was your FATHER like as a HUSBAND? What were his STRENGHTS? How did

    you FELL about this?

2. How was your MOTHER like as a WIFE? What were her STRENGHTS? How did you

    FEEL about this?

3. Are you CLOSE to your Father or Mother? How does this make you FEEL?

4. How is AFFECTION expressed in your family?

 

II. Loyalties and POWER Struggles

 

1.    What is your BIRTH POSITION* in your family and how do you feel about that? (Eldest [1^st] – Middle [2^nd] – Youngest [3^rd]; 4^th, 5^th, & 6^th = repeat 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, etc.]

2.    Who makes DECISIONS in your family? HOW are the decisions made?

3.    What are considered MAJOR DECISIONS?

4.    Who has POWER in your family? Who has power over WHAT and over WHOM? How does this make you FEEL?

 

*Birth Order Characteristics:

1. First = perfectionist, achiever, leader, bossy, responsible, motivated, conscientious,

controlling, cautious, reliable

2. Middle = adaptable, independent, go-between, people-pleaser, can be rebellious,

feels left out, peacemaker, social

3. Last = social, charming, outgoing, uncomplicated, manipulative, seeks attention, self-centered, fun

4. Only Child = confident, conscientious, responsible, perfectionist, center of attention, mature

for their age, seek approval, sensitive, leader

 

III. Coping Mechanisms

 

1.    How is ANGER expressed in your family?

2.    How are conflicts SETTLED?

3.    Think about a major crisis or problem faced by your family: (a) How did your family COPE? (b) How was it RESOLVED? (c) What would you have done?

 

IV. Rituals and BELIEF Systems

 

1.    How are weekend, holidays, SPECIAL OCCAISONS spent?

2.    What BELIEFS &/or rituals cannot be compromised or non-negotiable?

3.    What beliefs &/or rituals can be given up?

 

V. RULES (written or unwritten) about:

 

1. ROLES of Father and Mother (e.g. division of labor in the household)

2. Discipline

3. Finances

4. Relations with Siblings

5. Relations with Relatives

6. Time

[7. Work]

 

VI. VULNERABILITIES & STRENGTHS

 

1.    What are SENSITIVE ISSUES in your family?

2.    What events / issues in your family of origin continue to AFFECT you?

3.    What do you consider as your family’s STRENGTHS?

 

=====================================================

Implications:

 

>RETAIN what is functional.

>CHANGE or modify what is dysfunctional.

 

bowen family system theory

source: https://travel2cali.com/m2m-day-11-family-systems/?fbclid=IwAR2opgu6YSQETX9fVsTcSE0LVS7iBq_jiT85Bby25OfPuWa7dndwcHwX4_M

(youtube video 7:33 minutes)

"This system views the family as an emotional unit and uses systems-thinking to describe the complex interactions in this unit. It is the nature of a family that its members are intensely connected emotionally. Families profoundly affect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions when they try to gain affection, approval, and attention from the other members. A family unit can be very close-knitted or are distant if problems go unresolved.

The Eight-Core Concepts:

1. Emotional Triangles
2. Differentiation of Self
3. Nuclear Family Systems

    Four Basic Relations Patterns

    a. marital conflict

    b. disfunction in one spouse

    c. impairment of one or more children

    d. emotional distance

1. Family Projective Process
2. Multi-generational Transmission Process
3. Emotional Cutoff
4. Sibling Position
5. Societal Emotional Process

Four Basic Relationship Patterns:

These patterns are what drives people apart.

1. Marital Conflict
2. Dysfunction in one Spouse
3. Impairment of one or more Children
4. Emotional Distance"

======================================================

TREATMENT GOALS:

1. Understand therapy from an EMOTIONAL SYSTEM

2. Observe and recognize FAMILY PATTERNS

3. Reduce anxiety in the relationship system

4. Restore TRUST and FAIRNESS

5. Increase DIFFERENTIATION

6. Demonstrate INTER-GENERATAIONAL PATTERNS

INTERVENTIONS:

1. Teach DIFFERENTIATION

2. Focus on THINKING over feeling

3. DE-TRIANGULATING by reducing DYADIC INTERACTIONS

4. Encourage "I" STATEMENT

5. Re-OPEN cut off relations

6. Guide families to IDENTIFY TRIGGERS for reactivity

======================================================

my reflection: 

>my attention was riveted to DIFFERENTIATION & SELF DEVELOPMENT which is a challenge to Filipino families due to our "undifferentiated self" (Fr Jaime Bulatao, SJ, PhD).

 

>trans-generational same sibling position share traits (Daniele and me)

>physically close but emotionally cut off