with my psychologist friend's permission, i'm publishing a part of her letter to me to cite a concrete example of how the family systems framework can be applied to personality analysis. she also leaves us a very important message: parents' words are VERY POWERFUL! in the christian viewpoint, as parents, we are merely STEWARDS of god's children and creation and will render to him an account of how well we have treated the souls he entrusted so very closely to us! a timeless reminder to all of us parents!
- junrayx :-)
Aug 9, 2007
"Dear Jun,
"Sorry, I forgot to give you the context of my death wishes in the womb. I was conceived and born 9 years after my elder brother. My parents then didn't plan on having more kids. But, lo and behold, after a curcillo experience, my parents had me "by accident." Matter-of-factly, my parents, particularly my mother would tell us when we were growing up that I and my younger brother were "latak" [dregs]and not part of the plan, that they would have had a more comfortable life if we didn't come along. I didn't realize the depth of the impact of these innocent comments from my mother till I got pregnant and became a mother myself.
"We parents really need to be very careful about seemingly innocent messages we send to our children. Of course, more than those innocent messages, I think it was my mother's anxiety and ambivalence about her pregnancy with me that resulted in my developing those death wishes (part of the childhood misconceptions as Bradshaw would put it)...."
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